I sit here, mindlessly writing out my inner monologue on my very own sheet of paper.
Surrounded by strangers form other forms, I keep my calm and continue painting words when suddenly, my marker starts to fade. “Has it run out?” I ask myself, but upon slightly turning it, it picks its saturation back up. But as I write this, it begins to run out again! Maybe I’m just writing too fast. I want to use a normal pen, but mine is fading out as well. Not due to extensive usage, but because my own nerves got the better of me and I toyed with the damned thing, which resulted in it spontaneously retiring in the form of breaking down. Lessons learned, I guess: Keep your equipment in good condition, otherwise it will screw you over in the future… The marker is flickering, as if it’s taunting me, laughing at me, mocking me. But I keep it cool and write some more. After all, I get the last laugh, because I’m still sitting here, and still writing with the same marker instead of asking my classmates for another. I hear faint talking behind the door. Has my time run out? Not yet, I can still write for just a little longer in hopes of releasing more dopamine. My writing picks up speed… yes! What an amazing feeling! And as I drink from my mug, I am greeted by the soft stinging of ginger instead of scalding- hot water. I have reached the peak of satisfaction in these short 40 minutes the club had to offer today… But the lesson hasn’t ended. Oh wait, it has. Mr. Steiner has announced it. Well, I’m happy — I got to reach the third paragraph. © Maxim Moncoľ, member of the GBAS Writers club, 2022/2023
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The same beginning, same classroom and the same person right next to me. A lot has stayed the same, but a lot has changed as well. I still feel this deep, dark void inside me. It's inescapable and never-leaving nature follows me everywhere I go. Yet, it doesn't seem to bother me as much as last year. This moment is identical to the last, but my composure is not. Although the change in my mindset is tiny compared to the amount of time that has passed since then, I would like to say that I am glad. I am grateful that I allowed myself to sit here again and do what I love. I wish to have great things in my life. These days I'm actually going out of my way to grasp them. I want them. Last year, I just hoped they would find their way to me, but now, I am taking the matter into my own hands. It might seem like a small little step towards happiness, but for me, these steps are what brings me closer to the person I have always wanted to see in the mirror. © Dani White, 2022/2023 |
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